Gently rocking in the free world

Posted on October 26, 2011 by Carrie

Sunday I sang at a benefit concert for Mercy Partners, an amazing organization that provides medical care to people in Sudan and Kenya, among many other direct services that promote their future survival and self-sufficiency. You don’t hear a lot about the ongoing genocide in Darfur anymore. It isn’t particularly hip at the moment, and maybe (issues being more than ample) people have moved on to other problems to tackle. Perhaps their own survival, considering how things are going for many right now.

But things are incomprehensibly bad over there, and a few bucks can save a life. Literally. Directly. And I was honored to be a part of that, grateful for the ability and opportunity to donate a little time and cash.

And here’s the thing about Mercy Partners: The guy, Tom, who goes to Africa and organizes all the care and service? Members all around his community in North Carolina donate the deer they kill during hunting season so he can make jerky. This is his major form of sustenance when he goes overseas. This is not a huge corporate non-profit where your money gets lost. This organization is efficient and earnest and leaner than… than deer jerky.

So yeah, I’m now linking Mercy Partners on the right, along with another favorite charity of mine, Saint Baldrick’s, for which I shaved my head a year and a half ago. I like having them up there so I can remember to keep track of the good they’re doing, but if you ever feel like donating some money to an amazing cause, I’m vouching for both of them.

In much less important news, the aforementioned concert marked the first time in about ten years I performed a song I’d written. Which shouldn’t be a big deal, but songwriting has always been deeply personal for me, so it was. The song was a little silly and a little serious, about the inner life of a real-life super hero, like these guys, for example. I was surprised at how nice people were about it, but then again charity benefit concert attendees tend to be a supportive crowd by definition.

My mum graciously accompanied me on her guitar at the concert, but I’ve been teaching myself to play the mandolin with the goal of performing my own (and other people’s) music more in general. I’m toying with the idea of putting things up on youtube or some such in the future, but I don’t know. I’m shy. And I still only know six chords. Barely.

Posted in Health, Music | Tagged , , | 6 Comments  

Eat this, Not anything else!

Posted on September 12, 2011 by Carrie

I’ve been cycling through diets: from a month-long very restrictive elimination diet for detoxification, to a reintroduction phase where I gradually eat more variety, to a rest period where I eat my usual paleo/primal diet with occasional cheats because I am only human and I need pizza occasionally too.

It’s been a good system for me. I seem to feel a little bit better every time I complete the cycle, but the month-long period of severe restriction is brutal, not because I like to eat 1 but because I feel completely horrible the entire time.

I understand why detoxification as a concept is looked upon with so much skepticism. It’s so often used as a pseudoscience handwave to sell something or explain anecdotal reports of improved health. And it’s not like there are regulations concerning who can market a product as “Detoxifying!”, so it’s good to be skeptical lest you someday regret buying those Japanese foot pads. Still, completely disregarding the concept of detoxification doesn’t make sense to me. The vagaries of pernicious, unspecified “toxins” aside, put it this way: When your body encounters substances that aren’t healthy for it, and it cannot quickly excrete, it very often stores them in your fat. And just because that’s the safest place for them to be in your body, it doesn’t necessarily follow that you want them in your body permanently.

Those are the “toxins” you hear so much about. Not that esoteric, really.

So, although I am not a scientist and I could be missing something, it seems obvious to me that an elimination diet is very likely to stir some of this rubbish up. And since these are unhealthy chemicals, this can be less-than-fun. Especially if you’ve been fighting neurotoxic pathogens and taking all manner of medications, often prescribed shot-gun style, for the better part of a decade 2

So I’ve been feeling more or less poisoned for about a month now. It’s been hard to get out of bed, hard to think, hard to write, hard to hobble to the bathroom.

The good news? It’s almost over, and on Thursday my boyfriend is taking me for a (bunless) cheeseburger here.

_________________________

  1. Although I do! ↩
  2. Six and a half years is technically the better part of a decade, but I admittedly may have put it that way because it sounds more dramatic. ↩
Posted in Food, Health | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments  

Agley

Posted on September 5, 2011 by Carrie

The weekend didn’t quite go as planned. TD and I were all set to go to Ohio to shoot guns (apparently at cars and other such things) with a ragtag gang of awesome. Those of you who were actually present may or may not have noticed amidst all the fun that we weren’t nearly as there as many of the attendees.

We were, in fact, still in Michigan. One of us had a horrid stomach bug, possibly even verging on demon possession. The other of us wasn’t feeling so hot herself anyway. So there was Vernor’s and Torchwood and a recuperation instead.

Seems like it was a blast. Oh well. I still got to spend the weekend with my favorite person, who’s feeling much better now, so I’m still calling it a win. Maybe some other time it’ll be a far louder, more populated, smokier, saturated-fat-ful win.

Oh, and I hope everyone is having a grand Labor Daybor!

Posted in Arms, Health | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments  

Northcoast Blogshoot countdown

Posted on August 27, 2011 by Carrie

In one week I’ll be in Ohio with a bunch of awesome people shooting guns and watching them eat delicious things! Should be an excellent Labor Day weekend. Next year maybe I’ll get to eat the delicious things, even. A girl can dream.

Anyway, I can’t wait to see some of my gunny friends and make new ones!

Posted in Arms, Food | Tagged , , | 2 Comments  

What’s a flame like you doing in a place like this?

Posted on August 25, 2011 by Carrie

A series of short but intense storms rolled through the Detroit area last night. I like thunderstorms, and had nowhere important to go, so I happily sat in my room with windows open, watching Doctor Who and smelling the rain as it switched on and off.

Judging by the loudest thunder peal I’ve ever heard, one lightning bolt cracked violently close by at about 10:30 or so. I jumped a little, then giggled, like at the end of a good ghost story. Shortly afterward, though, I noticed my room smelled of burning matches: sort of sulfur and flame. It’s a pleasant smell, actually, but not the sort of thing you most want to smell right after a nearby lightning strike.

It seemed to be coming from outside, so I slipped on some thong sandals and peeked out the back door. No orange in the blackness, but the smell was no fainter out there. Because I’m so often wrong about things I asked my parents to come out back to see if they could smell it too. It wasn’t just me, but we couldn’t see anything. Shrugs all around.

Back in my room, the smell was stronger, so I decided to be terribly sharp and lift the blinds of my side-facing window and peer out, just in case. The tiny flame almost seemed like a trick of the light in the glass, but it wasn’t. There was a fire next door.

“There’s a fire next door!” I announced. “Quick!” I suggested. My dad grabbed the phone and I hobbled to the kitchen to get the fire extinguisher, which I found hadn’t been recharged since 1998. Perhaps there would be a subplot wherein someone needed bludgeoning, or something.

Outside we all went, to get a closer look. Our next-door neighbors were in Germany, probably sleeping and very probably perfectly safe. “It’s right under some kind of box. Is that the gas meter?” my mother updated me. “That would be pretty much the worst place for it to be, wouldn’t it?” I said, neither in panic or disbelief. Just to check reality. The fire was now more chestnut-roasting size rather than its modest needle-sterilizing beginnings.

A police car pulled up seconds later. The officer approached the fire and promptly ran in the opposite direction as the fire suddenly flared up big and undomesticated. He urged us to get away, at least across the street. It was on the main gas line.

“Can I get my dogs?” I asked, motioning to our house about 15 feet away from the flames. He didn’t say no. He said “Hurry”.

“I’ll get them”, I assured my mom, but she was right behind me. Our Pomeranians saw we were scared, and it spooked Tamlin, the girl, who bolted upstairs to hide. “We can’t get her,” Mom said. “She’ll be alright.” Digit, my little blue boy, skidded away a couple feet, and then settled into a flinch and let me pick him up. We got across the street and watched as three fire engines lurched up and a clown car’s worth of men spilled out and got right to work.

Digit got heavier and heavier as they fought the fire, broke into the house, discovered a gas leak, and decided we should move to the next block over to wait. Our neighbor dog with no eyes from across the street came over to lick me reassuringly. I stroked her ears absently and watched the brave men scrumming and grappling with salamander and sylph and putting up caution tape. Digit ignored it all, nestling against my collarbone, wondering why God was scared.

And then, suddenly, they said we could go back home. We tiredly thanked the firemen, and went. Back in my room, the burning smell was stale and toothless. I put my fan on exhaust.

Everything turned out as well as it could have, considering. No one was hurt, the damage ended up being minimal, and Digit forgot all on the other side of a cookie. Tamlin wouldn’t come down for hers. I shudder to think of what could’ve happened if we’d called a few minutes later, though, or if our amazing Fire Department’s response time had been just a little slower.

Every day we get through we’re lucky. Every day. But some days we feel it more than others.

Posted in Miscellany, Pets | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments  

Guess Nougat?

Posted on August 10, 2011 by Carrie

Okay, so finally I’m blogging about something really, really important. What are these mysterious candies, and why are they taunting me so? Also, I’m thinking of having a cheat day in a couple days. Should I eat one?

My guesses for what’s what are behind the link (spoilers and all that), although I must admit I have no idea what most of these are, so I’m probably not going to spoil much. I want to destroy them all with fangstab and swallow, but have no idea what they are. Continue reading →

Posted in Food | Tagged , | 3 Comments  

Why are we still sick?

Posted on August 6, 2011 by Carrie

New and exciting research has emerged in the “Chronic Lyme Disease is an autoimmune syndrome” field.

The short version, as I understand it, is that people who have trouble recovering from Lyme Disease seem to have a different antibody profile against a Borrelia burgdorferi-specific epitope protein as compared with people who got over the disease more quickly. This could indicate that our immune systems overreact to Bb, and continue to freak out even after the bacteria is gone.

There are unanswered questions, but I’d love to see more useful treatment options come out of this preliminary information. It might be a piece of the puzzle in finally curing chronic Lyme. But I doubt it’s the whole picture.

The fact remains that Bb is a nightmare bacteria: protean and elusive. When mature, it can shift between three forms, two of which are highly protective against antibiotics and the body’s defenses. It burrows into tissues; it’s capable of infiltrating the bone marrow and the brain. It is, in fact, so destructive and insidious that several scientists who study it have suggested it may have been engineered as a biochemical weapon.1

So when anyone starts trying to figure why chronic Lyme patients still have symptoms when we’ve received treatment2 and the bacteria should be eradicated, I’m wondering exactly how these people are defining “should”. Still, I will take all the research I can get about this little-understood, life-destroying illness.

I don’t care if they find out the freaking Butler did it; I just want to be healthy.

_________________________

  1. The Plum Island research facility is about 10 miles from Old Lyme, Connecticut. That proves nothing whatsoever, of course, but I find it interesting. ↩
  2. Usually defined as 2-4 weeks of oral antibiotics ↩
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Dawn breaks.

Posted on August 5, 2011 by Carrie

Wake up too early. (Wakefulness: 36%) Okay, no big deal. I can get back to sleep. I’ve done it before. I know a trick. The trick is, pretend the waking up thing never happened.

Discover an urgent need to pee. Get up and head to bathroom. (Wakefulness: 48%) It will be much easier to go back to sleep once this matter is attended to.

Back to bed. Sleep not happening. Hey, why not check my email? (Wakefulness: 63%) This is just a slight detour on my way back to REMland. I could still maybe sleep more. You don’t know…

Laptop closed. Likewise eyes. (Wakefulness: 49%) I believe I’ve almost won. Careful, now, no victory dance. Easy, easy…

Pomeranian demon dogs begin frenzied barking. Someone is probably trying to, like, use a sidewalk somewhere or something. The nerve. (Wakefulness: 73%) My mission today, once I am up for reals: destroy everything those dogs love as they look on, helpless. Also, no cookies.

Adjust earplugs. Cover head with pillow (Wakefulness: 72.5%) Hey, who’s the patron saint of lost causes again?

Hungry. Very hungry indeed, actually, come to think of it….

Dammit. (Wakefulness: 97%) Protein shakes are a legitimate substitute for sleep, aren’t they?

We’ll get em next time, champ.

Posted in Miscellany | Tagged , , | 2 Comments  

Shiny!

Posted on August 2, 2011 by Carrie

I’ve tried to stay away from MMORPGs until now, mostly because I don’t need help being any more unproductive than I already am.

But I’m really, really looking forward to this Firefly Universe Online game. Because duh. Not much info yet on gameplay, or even when it’ll be ready, but it seems like it’ll be a product created by and for Whedon geeks. Hopefully it’ll be both awesome and last more than a season.

I’ll just have to ration my playtime. Like Alliance Nutrient Bars.

Posted in Miscellany | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments  

Hope has side-effects

Posted on July 27, 2011 by Carrie

My health has been very up and down recently, with I think a general trend up. I’ve gotten out of my old moldy room, and I’m taking the correct meds, and sticking to all the other healthy behaviors I’m supposed to. And I think there’s been some improvement. Not as much as I seem to keep assuming, though.

I just keep trying to live, oh, let’s say one-third of a real person’s life. Ish. Maybe more like a quarter. And then my body none-too-gently notifies me that that constitutes “overdoing it”, and then I feel sick and run down and have to rest and recover, and then I promptly forget whatever lessons I should’ve learned from that and start trying to live that fraction of a real life again. I just don’t learn when to stay down, is the problem.

So I’m basically bedridden a couple days a week in addition to my otherwise generally low productivity and usefulness. And yes, I’m still calling this progress. It is progress; it’s just subtle. Demoralizingly subtle.

I wouldn’t be overdoing it like this if I weren’t feeling a little better, though: a little more energetic, hurting a bit less. Maybe I just have to learn the limits of my new level. Or maybe it’ll catch up to my modest (for now) dreams of sub-functionality. A girl can dream.

Posted in Health | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments